Couples have all sorts of reasons for renewing their wedding vows. Maybe to celebrate a landmark anniversary, to reaffirm their commitment to one another, or to celebrate their union with the people that are important to them now. Or just for a great excuse to do their wedding day all over again!
Whatever your reason for thinking about having a vow renewal ceremony, whether you’ve been married for two years or 25 years, here’s my guide to creating the perfect day.
1. Decide on the vibe
Firstly, think about what sort of feel you want for the day. Do you fancy something dressy and formal, a bit like a wedding ceremony? Or are you thinking relaxed, garden party vibe with a ceremony in the afternoon to celebrate the moment? Maybe a cocktail and canapes evening with black tie and evening dresses, or a full on beach party?
Talk this through together to decide what feels reflective of the two of you. You’ll also want to consider your tribe, if you’re going to have a room full of little ones then something relaxed is going to be more enjoyable for everyone than a formal do!
2. Who’s on the invite list?
This brings me nicely on to talking about who you want to share your day with. Most couples invite the family and friends who celebrated their wedding day, along with family members that have come along since then and new close friends.
But you could decide to keep it small with those who matter the most, just immediate family and a few close friends. You could even arrange an elopement style vow renewal and keep the day just for the two of you, that’s tempting right!
3. Now choose your venue
Once you’ve decided on the style and numbers for your celebration this will help you narrow down your venue. A garden party doesn’t mean you have to host this at home, plenty of hotels and village halls have gardens that you can make your own for the afternoon. And hiring a stretch tent will tick the wet weather box.
Of course, holding your vow renewal ceremony at home can give a more intimate and relaxed feel. But hosting a cocktail and canapes evening at home with lots of candles and lanterns and some gorgeous music can feel upmarket and special, while being easier on your budget too.
You might decide to choose somewhere that is meaningful for you both, maybe your favourite restaurant, a bar where you’ve celebrated big family events, your wedding venue so you really can do it all again, or your favourite holiday spot. Getting your nearest and dearest together for a weekend away on the coast and incorporating a vow renewal ceremony during your time together might be just the thing.
Wherever appeals to you, get some possible dates nailed down and then get talking to the venue/your family/friends to make it happen.
4. Structuring your day
Let’s face it, food is generally at the forefront of everyone’s minds when it comes to a get together. So first of all decide on what type of food you’ll serve and when you’re going to eat. Then you can work the rest of your day around this.
If you are thinking fish & chips on the beach at 6pm then the following structure could work…
- 3.00 pm Hellos and welcome drinks
- 4.00 pm Vow renewal ceremony followed by photos, drinks and snacks
- 4.45pm Games and/or chill out time
- 6.00 pm Dinner
- 7.00 pm Get the party started
- 10.00 pm Goodbyes
For a more traditional vibe you could opt for something like this…
- 12 noon Arrivals and welcome drinks
- 12.30 pm Vow renewal ceremony
- 1.15 pm Drinks and canapes and photos
- 2.30 pm Lunch (is there such a thing as a vow renewal breakfast?!)
- 4.30 pm Speeches and cake cutting
- 7.00 pm Carriages or start the disco
While an evening celebration could follow these lines…
- 7.00 pm Arrivals with drinks and canapes
- 8.00 pm Vow renewal ceremony
- 8.30 pm Toast followed by speeches
- 9.00 pm Further drinks and canapes and maybe some dancing
- Midnight Carriages
5. The ceremony
So what about the ceremony itself? You can of course include anything you choose when you come to renew your vows. Think poems and readings, your love story being told, anecdotes from family and friends about the two of you, and maybe a certificate signing to mark the moment.
You will of course want to exchange vows, and once again you have choices here. Maybe you want to repeat your original wedding vows, committing to continue doing all those things you originally promised. Or you might decide to make some new commitments that reflect your journey so far, or your planned future. Whatever you choose your celebrant will be able to make some vow suggestions and give you some inspiration. I like to print the vows into booklets for the couple to read from on the day, and these make a cute keepsake too.
Exchanging rings or jewellery is a popular part of a vow renewal ceremony, and you can regift your wedding rings with some new promises. There is also an opportunity to include your family. If you have youngish children then a sand blending ceremony or a handfasting ceremony are both fab visual elements and something a little different to the norm. While older children will probably be happy reading a poem or just being part of your day.
You will need to find the right celebrant too, that’s easy, give me a call or drop me a line for a Zoom chat 😊
You can check out my suggested ceremony structure here https://www.silverbeeceremonies.co.uk/ceremonies/vow-renewal-ceremonies/
6. Bringing it all together
You might enjoy planning all of this between the two of you. But if that feels a bit daunting enlist some trusted family and friends who can help with arranging invites, scouting possible venues, sorting decorations, hiring glassware, and even bringing some food along.
Allow yourselves three to six months planning time so it’s not a last-minute rush. And set timescales for getting various decisions made and jobs done. If you are hosting at home, don’t underestimate how long a quick lick of paint in the lounge and a garden spruce up might take!
Most of all though, don’t sweat the small stuff. Decide what you want and have fun getting there and make the most of celebrating your love with those you love.