Plenty of couples have children before they decide to marry, in fact one in four couples have children already when they tie the knot. So, what’s the best way to involve your children in your wedding ceremony?
There are all sorts of options on how best to involve your children in your wedding ceremony. This can include them taking centre stage in your processional, through to joining in a family sand blending ceremony. And everything in between. Let’s see what’s right for your clan.
Babes in arms
If your little one is a babe in arms it’s probably enough that they are sharing the space with you while you exchange vows. Hopefully, they’ll put on their cutest look for the photos afterwards.
But, you may like to make them part of the processional. Maybe one of your bridesmaids could carry them down the aisle while they don a suitably gorgeous outfit for everyone to coo over!
You could also incorporate a naming ceremony into your wedding for a truly unique and special moment. This is best added towards the end of the service and your celebrant will talk about you as a family and your little one. Your guests could even join in with naming your child. Cute! And maybe a member of your family could read a poem to welcome your little one to the world. You can find out more about naming ceremonies here.
Toddlers & young children
Making them part of your processional is an obvious winner for toddlers and young children. They are bound to steal the show and can add an element of surprise to the opening moments of your wedding ceremony as you never quite know how they are going to behave!
Also popular is having your children as your ring bearers. Your best man can pass them the rings to bring up when the time comes and give a helping hand if needed. The photos will be gorgeous. But be prepared for the fact they may well want to stay with you for the rest of the ceremony!
Another great way to involve young children in your wedding ceremony is with a family unity circle. You can do this at any age but it’s perfect for little ones. The kids join you at the front and you hold hands to create a circle. Then I say some words about how family is your safe place, somewhere you can be yourself and know that you are loved. Just enough to get your guests feeling the moment! Then we end with a big family hug.
Children aged 8-13
At this age, your children are likely to be highly invested in your wedding day! Embrace their enthusiasm by finding ways to involve them in your wedding ceremony. They can of course be part of your processional as flower girls and page boys and bring up your wedding rings. These following ideas, though, go that bit further…
Your children can bind your hands together with ribbons as part of a handfasting ceremony. You could let them choose their own colours for the ribbons to reflect the meaning of the colour. Think yellow for happiness and green for honesty. Once all the ribbons are in place, your celebrant will say the words for the handfasting. Then when you take your hands away it creates a Celtic love knot. It’s a lovely visual element with lots of history, handfasting is where the term tying the knot comes from.
A sand blending ceremony is fab way to represent being united as a family through marriage. Each of you has a different coloured jar of sand highlighting everyone’s unique place in your family. As you bring your sand together in a larger jar, it reflects your family coming together with the grains of sand entwining. It’s a great keepsake too.
Teenagers & above
Handfasting ceremonies and sand blending ceremonies work well for teenagers and older children. If you can convince your teens that the rituals are cool enough!
Another great way to involve older children is asking them to read a poem. They might want to decide on the poem themselves and keep it as a surprise for you both. So, entrust a sibling or close friend to work with them to choose something fitting. If you are really lucky, they may decide to write their own poem! These are always magical moments, often hilarious and heartfelt from one line to the next. Go with the flow if that’s what they want to do. You won’t regret it.
How about your child taking over the role of celebrant as you say your vows? They could ask you to make a series of personal promises and you respond in turn to each promise. Maybe you could allow them to add their own commitment for the two of you which will be a surprise when they read it out! Your celebrant can coach them beforehand to help dispel any nerves, and agree any additional commitments. It will make for a truly memorable moment in your wedding ceremony.
Equally, they could step in and lead your ring exchange. After bringing up the rings they can ask you to repeat after them previously agreed words for your ring exchange. This option makes your vows just about the two of you and then involves your child/children at this special moment.
The end
The options for involving your children in your wedding ceremony, regardless of their age, are plenty. If nothing else, you could ask them to stand with you for the ceremony’s closing words. And then have a family recessional where you all walk or dance down the aisle together.
However you choose to involve your children, I think fun and meaningful is the way to go. Good luck!
For details on what’s involved in a celebrant led wedding visit my Wedding Ceremonies page.